ah..
hw hw hw..
why so so many hw 1 =.=
all the dead lines like tml sia.. =.=
yesterday wanted to leave the works to do today lols..
then today woke up only at 3pm sia zzz
thnx to cabal online.. made mi addicted and forgotten about the time sia..
cos its so late, i knew there woudnt be slot for mi at library
then went to cc to see if theres study room there..
suay suay they change the study room for other purpose.. =.=
then went to chicky house to study..
but the effeciency was expectedly badl a..lols..
cos we keep talking =.=
then went to play bball a while at 538, then i went home..yawn
now i am left last 2 pills of my anti biotics .
hope my cough can fully recover.. haiz...


my heart for u is like the blinking stars.
each time it fades, my heart shrinks.
each time it shines, my heart blooms..
now that theres a eclips,
you are fading and fading, so small that i cant sense you anymore.
but i know it will end.
the eclips will end some day, and let my heart bloom wif love..
for u..

woo..
i am too hyper le sia..
today had my maths test.
though din study at all, but i think din do badly sia..lols..
it was A maths work..
after sku almost ran home =.=
cos got road run zzz.. 4.4km.....zzzz
but in the end due to my guiltness din pang sei my classmates.. =P
omg i feel refreshed and energitic during and after the run instead of being exhausted.
omg i have gained back my stamina? !!!
i m sooo happy..=P
then for the china trip, even jun xuan also going!
thats makes all the guys in my cll class going for it..
wooooo hoo.
cant wait for that day to come..
and i heard got alot H1 chinese ppl? gotta be fun =P
at night met mok again =.=
he seems v free lately..
and lol, he keeps ask mi for the female frens number and make fren =P
and got daoed by some ppl huh..lols.. cant stop laughing..
tml gottachiong few hours of study and bball!
bball bball bball...........................
hope my cough can recover by the time i finish all my anti biotics =.=


we are like a jigsaw puzzle..
its been accidently smashed to the ground, broken into pieces.
many pieces have been misplaced, they are never gonna come back.
our jigsaw puzzle is nv a complete one..
but i really don think it should be the end of us..

ah.
my cough is like so dam fuckup..
yesterday went to NMA 1st training..
lols..i am in the video casting crew =P
1st training then got informed about the coming chinese broadcast and hosting competition..
tml must pass up my script to teacher to check le..
got maths test somemore..
is dam stress de =.=
surprisingly, got a korean in the cca..
he went to bball trial also last time..lols.
but the cca seems so cool la..
i had fun playing wif the video camera =P
but i m worried about my lit la..
it seems sooo hard..ahh..
hmm.. yesterday was a fresh day to start with, though i din sleep mroe than 2 hours thnx to my cough, i saw the beautiful sunrise from the mrt train =P
its around everyday above mi only, yet i din notice this beauty.
those flamming clouds surrounding it are soooooo beautiful ...
hope i don miss out too much beautiful thigns around mi in life =)
now i am watching "my girl" again and again =.=
cos i don wan to come to reality..lols..
the world inside those drama is so ideal.
its so cruel to come out to this realistic world.

this is the coldest reply i ever received.
this utter sadness..
was it wat i gave u last time?
i have nth more to say...
i don think i should even try if u don even wan to see mi.
but i will never try to forget you..
how i hope u can be the 1st and last..
but i can never get te chance.
we are too far apart.
i finally realised the distance..
the road that seperates us.
or rather, seperates mi from you..
its full of spikes..
full of traps..
you are walking further and further away,
but i have to go through them, those spikes, those traps that are spilling out bloods,
slashing this little bits and bits of my souls..
i m walking to you so slowly, so slowly..
i can never catch up with your speed..
because.........
you are not waiting for mi anymore..
and before i could come to my sense,
you are gone...
my loved one................
the furthest distance in the world is when you are just opposite mi,
yet,
you love mi none..

lols.. today din go sku =.=
cos of the bloody cough..
yesterday night was like hell..
ahh don wan mention it le..
wonder why i only cough badly at night.zz
then watched "my girl" again lols..
whole night crying through la sob sob..
thr show is so super nice.!
oh ya, yesterday went to watch sky of love...
like finaly? lols.
almost watch alone liao..
but pc peied mi to watch it.. thnx =)
i knew there woul be kind soul to accompany mi de..yay..
and its the 1st time i heard about kachang bu tei =.=
wat a funny name of the food..lols..
and i had a super bad gastric zz..
i feel so bu hao yi si that she send mi near my house there..zzz.
then today mok somehow don need to go to army camp again =.=
got jioed to a draft match of dota..
so we called the so called "noob" teammates to play..
and we owned like siao..lols..
cos they v the listen to instruction..
teamwork is the best!! =P
then went to collect my o level cert lols..
and ut my hair at 505
omg i like the saloon there..
cheap and nice lo..
notl ike jubilee.zzz..
ahh recently i fell in love wif a song in "my girl"
i shall try to put it at blog =P
tml shall go for my new media arts cca..!!
i am so excited..



ahh, i agree to hamiza..
if i am sincere in someone, i shouldnt mix wif other female friends as often,
even if i treat them like real buddy,
they are females.
its time for mi to prove my sincerity.
but i still donno how to face you.
you noe, the worst reaction i exxpect, is no reaction...................

ahh..
i am dead tired..
but i am v contented..
i feel a sense of achievement..lols....
morning tried to study a while,
then watched a few episodes of love letter (a korean zong1 yi4 show)
through my mum dl de programme..lols!!
my mum pro sia..
last tiem always need to watch bit by bit through you tube..
today can watch a few espisodes without stopping.. dam song one.
then later on after noon mok called mi..
since he at novena, asked hi meet mi at toa pa yo..
cos heard there got korean dvds 10 dollar for each set!!
i got v tempted..
we searched a while only and found the shop that got big headings $10 dollars each set..
then saw ming tek ( old collegue at takashimaya)
working there..lols.
but "my girl" is $15 !!! argh..
and they don have full house..zz..
sadded..
nvm..
then we spent like 1 hr lookign for bball courts at that area? lols..
in the end went to tpy cc de court..
surprisingly got alot ppl there playing..
we played a while nia then went back to chen sang cc cont play =P
wa there also dam lots ppl sia..
de liang, ah xian, david, kayong, zhan hong, and some old pros.. woo..
got to play 5v5 s!!!
its been sooo long i play bball la..
dam happy..
cos win all ma..lols.
mok got scolded like siao for his noobness..lols..
ahh..
actually i like bball so much de..
but now that huan sheng is in china, so hard to find ppl to play wif la..zzz..
maybe i shall play less dota and com games?
bball then is my life ma =P
computer games are so useless..
ah...after the bball games i feel so contented.. =P


ahh, i have till 18 april..
it may be a chance to see her..
i shall work hard on this song..
it shall mean my life to complete it..
i can do it..
i am not that bad right =(
i must have confidence =)

wa shit sia..
its been a week and i am still coughing to badly..
zzz...
don tell mi i will cough for 1 month again =.=
sian lo..
haha but i made up my mind to learn singing..
at least 1 semester..
save up the money myself =P...
but then v hard sia =.=
no matter how i wan to save i will spend 10 dollar each day..zzz.
hmm..
today went to study at library..
ma de, that wen yuan still say he can come de..tot he so steady..
in the end no other ppl also don wan come..
then i went there alone..lols..
but it was surprisingly effective learning..
and i saw joanna there..lols..
its always she see mi i nv see her de.. somehow =.=
am i that unobservant ...zz..
studied for about 3 hours plus and went home..
i cant concentrate for too long..
then went to pei mok play..
omg finally he came out of army.. =.=
wtf he went to tai pub yesterday..
and it was a super lame place..lols..
only to see his frens drunken..
and recently saw xmm conicidently.
and gained lots of weight..lols.
nt to suan u..but i got a shock when i saw you..
hm.. gotta chiong study tml morning again..
i love library!!!

shit. i miss her..
zz..
i really miss her..
zzz...
i still miss her..
zzz....
so i miss her lo..
zzz...
but i dreamt about her wif alot shuai ges...argh...
i hate my look...
zzzz................

long time before i started updating my daily life..
zzz..
the sku was as tiring as usuall..
finally found new media arts teacher incharge.
hopefully i can pass their audition to join chinese tv broadcast crew =P
recently watched leap years, chicky said he felt like falling in love after watching it..
but i thought such conicidence if so unreal..hmm.
if i can be so lucky in my realtionship like go anywhere also see her then i wouldnt be a failure le.lols..
yesterday tot sky of love was gonna end this weenend..
cos only left 1 timing for each day la..
dam sad. all my frens watched it le..
then i went to hub decided to atch alone..lols..
then found out the ticket was same as holdiay price..
hmm..
so i shall wait a few days more, see if any kind soul would wan to watch it wif mi..
at most watch alone lo..lols.. wont die..
but i am v happy that my classmates loved mi lots =P
but i just don feel like being in a crowd..
i am not anti social la =(
i donno why, i just wan to be alone sometimes, and get into deep thought..
pc talked to mi about this love thing, alot chim thigns thati took time to digest..
but i envy her relaitonship wif her bf..
though there were many breakups, they got back together ..
she said, if u2 are meant to be together, no matter wat happen, u will be together..
and said i should learn how to love some1, and wats real love..
theres a difference between i think i love some1 and i really love some1..
and i am a super sentimental 1.
thusi need think double..
do i really love her?
how do i feel about her..
i donno..
i only noe, she is the 1 i wan to be wif MOST..
i avoided think i like her, and told myself i wont like her for the previous times..
cos i knew its impossible for us..
but i think love isnt about avoiding the imposible ones, but creating the possibles.
if i avoid my feeling for the whole of my life.
i knew it would be regretful..
i felt like slapping myself thinking wat i told myself earlier : how can i fall for her, impossible la..
like her also no use, she wont ever like mi."
that was just an excuse for my timidness.
i don believe its not true love when i htink of her now every spare min.
i don believe its not true love when th biggest wish i have now is to be wif her..
not just to be, but end up wif her..
it is said in the leap years, if u really find ur true love, u gonna be patient..
maybe i wont be given a chance to amend for my mistake anymore..
aybe u cannot trust mi anymore..
maybe u changed, or u found much better ones..
then i shall let nature take its course..
i wont contact you till u contact mi..
i wont see you unless i meet u randomly..
i once don believe in fate..
but since i m at a lost, let fate decide my fate..
no matter wat, the gal i want to be most, is you..
my buddy who always bully mi.. =)

oh ya, why have i chosen u.
why am i dong it for u.
you are a v suitable 1 for mi.
u have all the qualities i need from u.
while thinking of you about it again and again..
and while thinking about our past.
about all that we experienced.
about all that i shouldnt have done..
about all the regret,
i fell for u again..
but this time i am mature enough to make wiser dicision,
and not doing things that i would regret.
but i doublt i have the chance yet.
i shall reflect on it.
i shall think about wat i can do.
in the mean time.
i grant u peace..
=)

hmm.. today finally found the teacher incharge of new media arts.
gave him my contacts to enter their audition..
woo..
chnese tv broadcast! dam cool la..




i noe i am too emotional la..
and scared u .
i noe u are full doublts..
i noe u don like it.
so i shall stop.
no matter how much i wan to have u..
its not going to work..
u don like the way i do...
its kinda weird i agree..
nvm..
i shall disappear from u for some time..
lets see wat happens when i get 30 ba..

ok... yesterday hcionged till 2 am and finally and miraclely finished my maths, and today finished my econs during break..
wat a long day today la..
got 2 and half hour of maths due to extra lesson for those 2nd intake sia..
but she released us earlier cos she was tired too =P
woo... seems my bad luck has gone off.
and why does my classmates i am blur and funny =.=
is that syaing they making fun of mi ? zzz
ok, at least i can bring laughter =P
and the talentshow case deadline extended till thurs? hm..
but my throat is still v sore..
wonder if i can recover by april?
nvm, i got 2 more days to consider =P
woo. wen yuan and zheng hui both joining new media arts..
and cheah ling too.. die die also wan join le.. =P
so many frens there..
but which department leh? hmmmmmm..
just catched step up 2..
cos yj went to Ij wif ting ling ..
then shun bian go watch.
wa and saw darren phua on the way to cinema!! i cant belibve it.
hes so tall now =.= , but still shorter than mi la. hehe..
the movie was ok.. the dance was brilliant...zzz.
see le will jealous la..
omg i am coughing le..
sian....
and i don have to hand in any hw tml!! i can finally slack a while =P horay....

just to announce it here cos it JUST happened..
bobo has died.....................................................................................................

wtf..
wats happening to my life..
wat is this..
maths hw, and maths hw and maths hw..
i don understand a single shit in lit..
i am not confident in gp nor pw..
the teachers always scold mi for nth..
i was so trying so fucking hard to concentrate pls?
i was jogging down notes..
why the fuck must u always publicly shame mi when i yawn wif my hands convering my mouth and wif no sound at all?
i hate my class.
not that i am racist..
i will never get into their english- malay speaking world..
they wont listen to mi talk..
i hate those fucker teachers..
and those useless teachers wif no capability at all but come to jc just to get more pay..
and i miss her....zzz...
but now leh?
even my allowance also wan cut..
how am i going to win her heart without financial assistence.
everything just seems so difficult now..
and why is my body becoming so weak..
wtf is happening...
pls tell mi its a dream..
this is really scary..
i wont be able to take it much longer..
let mi awaken from it soon pls?
how am i going to read 400 page literature story book in few days when i take months to finish harry potter?
how am i going to do well in pw propersal when i am given so little time cos of that bloody stupid jc rule..
how am i going to finish 20 pages of maths tutotial in 1 day?
how am i going to sleep without getting a reply from her..
how am i going to concentrate doing my hw while my mind and heart is wif other ppl..
how am i going to pass my nafa test wif my body like weakening every day like that..
how am i going to survive this 2 years being a loner when i was such a talkative person..
who can i look to when huan sheng is gone to china..
who can i find to pei mi..
i m a robot wif no computer.
i m a body without arms..
i m a fish out of water.
i understand this is another point of life i mut perservere and endure..
will i make it through?
i don wish to give up her just like that..
should i find part time job?
should i sacrifice all my entertainments for the little time i could use..
today is the last day to submit talent showcase form..
and i gave it up..
it was once my dream..
now is no more..
bball was once my life..
now its no more..
wat else do i have left?
wat else can i achieve?
why do i always fucking get cough, sick, fever, injury at the most crucial time..
is it all my luck have been used on O level and A level?
if thats the case, i rather you let mi have a life now and i work wif my own strength..
pls give mi back my life..







am i already gotten her irritated by my lameness?
its like she don need mi at all.
not at all for now..
wat value do i have for her.
wat value do i have for the society..
wat value do i have for any ..
just wat am i living for?
.........................................................................................

mei2 tian1 li3 ah..
rainy day cannot fidn slot at library~ zzzzz
now end up at chicky house slack..lols..
good luck for my hws....

i don like dramas..
why does everyshow have such nice endings.
i am tired of being 1 sided..
why cant i ever feel being loved.
its painful..
is it because of the curse,
such a long curse, that made mi suffer for so many years..
heres, i returned you my tears.
pls let mi off...
i give up this game..

本来，我很自豪，我以为自己很聪明。
其实，我很傻，我错过了最重要的人。

本来，我很坚决，我觉得这才是男人。
其实，我错了，原来我是死要面子。

本来，我松了口气，我以为我解脱了。
其实，我懂了，我从来就没有放下。

但是，我明白了。我找回了人生的意义。



sian diao..
out of words..
my stupid mouth..
why cant i just keep it shut..
its been sealed for months..
now then release them lame shit..
and received the worst reaction i ever seen..
zzz...
ahhh...............
why do i feel as if under a fking heavy stone..zzzzzzzzzzz

lols.. this kind of hour, and i still cant fall asleep.
can sing yi2 ge4 ren2 shi1 mian2 le.. zz
but i found sweet stuff =P

you are my everything, always by my side, my love.
in my heart, there is only ever you.
stay in my embrace,i wish time would froze.
your bright smile,reaches the depths of my heart.
the love that i buried in my heart.
i wan to feel you by my side, my love..

ok now i think shall save some funny things happened last week to this blog.
thursday watched the eye wif xh.
and there was a ah pek keep yawning la..=.=
dam irritating.. then xh shouted: who was that !
then some ppl in front suddenly turned and searched for the sources of this voice..zz.
and i heard the loudest shout in a PG movie..
i still remmeber the 1st loudest shout was from yt and yj 4 yrs ago, during yt bday, watching arnaconda.. and darren and mi was almost deaf..lols..
omg.. its pg movie!! =P
ok i suaned u enough..
then finally got back my shorts from zi hang.. ma de..
lend him so many days then return mi..

ok then sunday went to queensway to buy my new shoes.. like finally!!!!
finally got ppl wan go there =P
i took like dam short while and foudn my shoe!
and yt took like 3 hrs? lols..
think she went to almost every shop asking the price of the shoe she wan..
make sure its best deal !
she can be a good housewife next time lols..
then while she going around i like bought dam many things la..
the things there so cheap lo.. esp accessories..
and i finally found a hair extension shop!! zz..
but too late..
donno if june holiday can go extend sia..
still got china trip..
later i go china de sku the ppl there tot i pai kia..=.=
oh then we saw a machine tetsing for love character..
then the extream left is dead fish.. i guess every1 noes wat it means. =.=
lets number it 1
followed by 2,3,4,5...
and i got interested and tried =.=
guess wat?
i got 5...... ( wicket)
wtf!!! wicket!! walao..
i am so incoent pls.....=P but i searched dictionary for its meaning but the only thing i found that its a door?? lol.. heck.. at least i am not dead fish!

ok today is a dam suay day..
so i shall update..
morning struggled to wake up. =.=
went to woodland there to study..
actually is to get back my book lent to wt..
then she told mi she was gonna study.
good way to motivate myself to study ( the good way is group study i mean)
so yup,dicided to go lo..
then got informed that she would be playing badminton at sports complex and told mi its v near woodland mrt..zzzzzzz
yup v near..
i followed the way she instructed to walk..
and i don see anything sports hall or stadium or swimming pool la!
zzzz... then only saw a place blocked by alot plants (i donno wat to call them)
ah! fence that got plant growing on it..zz..
then got a super big banner said its a football club..
then i walked all the way till marsling mrt station..=.=
wtf lo..
wanted to take a pic to record my stupidity and keep as memory lols..
then took mrt back to woodland nd on the mrt, i saw the stadium from above =.=..zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i decided not to give up, and walked there again..
thnx for the odac activity planned for mi ah...
i think i walked for 1hr?
the woodland mrt control station ppl sure tot they see ghost =.=
cos they see a sleep yawning guy, carrying a huge bag walking out of the staton 2 times..lols..

then study till 3 like that went to find wl' s house for piano lesson..=.=
she moved house..
her piano now is dam fun sia =.=
press the key take 10 min to come up..zz..
must be full of imagination to practice under her guaidence..
then when go out, it was raining cows and elephants.. zzzzzzz
all i could say was drench drench and drench..
yes.. the moment i stepped out of her house.. i knew it.. GG!

iwannawatchruleno1andskyoflove!!!!!!!!!!!
any1interested?=P



heres a super nice piano song, called the romantic version of cannon in D.. interested go listen !!
http://www.gangqinpu.com/html/3814.htm

lols.. guess need to reply some tags..

Ziyun- i have linked le =)

xiao hui- lols.. its ok.. and i nv heard ppl shout so loud watching a pg movie.. hmm..lols..

xmm- lols, i change my mind.. i wan join new media arts.. dam cool de..

cl- lols.. movies =.= i watch like 2 or more in a week now.. kind of addicted..zz..
i mayb be studying at woodlands these few days leh.. if u wan can come visit mi =)

its been long i update..
sianz sia, dam lazy to update liao.
erm, wat should i say leh..
everyweek got so much thigns to update, but all are from daily life.
kind of boring..though there may be interesting thigsg that happen all the time..
just got back from a chinese lit talk at rjc..
its about a short novel written by a well known chinese writter..
the theme of the story is actually about fate and death..
i know i am not a person who believe in fate and luck..
cos i always lose in gambling? maybe..
and maybe cos my fate told by fortune teller is not really a very good one.
but also, i believe that most people don succeed simply because they don wan to work hard.
just as the quote said, working hard is like fixing a jigsaw puzzle, 1st piece fix may not seem anything but after a long time you see the big picture..
yes, but when you fix them 1 by 1..
its just so easy to give up.
i have been pampered till becoming a lazy person.
but i need some1 to motivate mi to start..
i am not some1 that gives up easily.
but usually i wont even try it.
after seeing that the perecentage of winnig is low.
i am scared of too many things..
scared of losing face..
scared of bad reputation.
scared of ...............
yes i am prideful..
i am a lazy and prideful person.. =.=
wat a pathetic character.......
with that, my discussion of my fate ended?
noo way..
i WAS prideful..
but not now =)
i was lazy, but .... a little less now? =P
P.S i will succeed..........................................

to wei chi : walking alone in streets dont work for mi la =.=
and its a good way to make myself thing though.
cos if i emo at home i get distracted by msn and music.

wooo... finally got mood to update my blog le..
its been a long time =P
cos i tired wif jc life ma...
lets see, 1st return tags..

to yi ting: cos got technical error for thi skin.. i tried many times le, but can only put below T-T

to xiao hui: haha.. ypu.. i love this new skin, cos its very emo ^^

to cheah ling: jc so busy, and wake up v early, make mi whole day to energy thats why nv update..haha..
lets all join drama!!

Monday- the 1st day of official sku day =.=
i was missing my OG frens the whole weekend la..and missing my jie jie =)
then i went to sku wif a heavy heart.... cos.......i gonna noe my class ppl.....!!
i was dam sadded when i 1st saw my class... ALL MALAYS!!!!
not a single chinese!!!! ahhh... i was thinking to myself " die liao, need take malay as 3rd lang le"
until i realised that my classmates are more frenly than most ppl..
lols.. cos usually is i talk to ppl 1st and intro.. this time, they talked to mi 1st..omg..
finally see ppl so enthu and frenly le...wheee...
lols....ok la, then started those lectures..
the 1st day wasnt much things la... got my econs notes and started chionging the lecture notes right away every break time at library..
and of cos, the mugger was there too...lols.. no offence.. ( mugging is a good thing so u shouldnt be angry when i say u are mugger =.=)
then like until a few days later we relaised the lecture notes were for only 1 week, and i gave up on reading the lecture notes before hand =.=
a bit meaningless...cos they are v easy to understand by listening to the lectures..
sadly, none of my og member was in the same subject combi as mi..
so i have to find new cliques for every lecture...
lols, but mot of the time sitting alone..( cos i wan to concentrate. when i din sit alone, means? wahaha... slack....)
but was almost sticking to ahrif for the whole 1st 3 days...
wednesday finally had my 1st cll lesson..
the was only got 9 ppl =.=
and finally i see only chinese..lols..
and the ppl there are v funny.. can laugh at them alot..
esp zheng hui and wen yuan..
i escaped being the chinese lit rep by saboing wen yuan =X
pai seh, i wan to save myself and find a chance be class chairman.. cos i heard only class chair or counsillor can be OGL ...ahh... and i wont join counsillor.. thats why...hmm...yup..
omg and the english literature lesson was v scary..
if i don concentrate for 1 min and i die..
and sometimes got some words i donno how to spell de lo!! heng i sat beside eng pros..
so specially thnx to ko yin and ee xuan who did some help for spelling out for mi during 2 lectures..
oh ya..

wednesday was also cca open house..
and i went to the bball selection to see se..hmm..
i played like shit..lols..and alot ppl were watching sia..
but 7 ppl got selected including mi sia..
i was quite happy at 1st, but they started their bball training straight away =.=
and it was hell training cos even my backside cramped la..zz
and i heard that their training is 3 times a week..haiz.. in the sun!!
i don wan to get tanned nor would i wan to be so active in my cca..
so i shall not join bball ba.. =)
i noe i am getting lazier and lazier... =P
soo, i shall join drama!!wheeee...

lastly, friday went to watch meet the spartans wif wei chi, and a guy that is having a crush on her..
fina the combination weird? lols..
i am used to it le =.=
last time tummy also...yawn...
then turns out i met the guy before..lols...quite shen qi...
but the movie was suckingly, sucky.. zzz..
walao eh. its lame till not funny liao lo ....=.=
thnx to wei chi who don dare to watch horror movie, makes us waste $$ =(
argh... anyway, huan sheng has left to china already...
dam sad..zzz... hope he reach there safely.. =)