woo...long time nv update my post huh...ok..1stly, got 1 more person noe my blog le...u noe who ah.. stranger....hm i kinda forgot wat happened on sat..only remember that i got sick on sat..zzz...flu and cough again..then sunday got tuition...quite lame also...then monday went osengkang library to study wif xiao mei mei and julia..lol...got chased away then after that went home liao..then tuesday went polyclinic..xiao hui insist on peing mi...=.= ...cos she feel guilty tat monday night she and wei logn called mi to go hub there and caused mi to lose my chance to visit clinic cos of the early closing hour...then xiao mei mei came also..lol...then we went library searching for "i believe you" but was in vain...haiz...
today...morning time, went sku after eating my cough medicine..thenb m y head was like dam heavy la..zzz....guess how hard i tried to listen to my maths teacher? in the nd still have to give up....but mdm wong is quite nice to mi already...she allowed mi to go opposote buy biscuit half way of the lesson cos of the gastirc my medicine brought to mi..but i was dam pissed la..2 of my classmates, took my biscuites when i went toilet..and finished then all when it was like quite alot inside la..wtf...but mi, as some1 wif no temper to gals...din really scold them...ya..i doublt if i were myself also..if i were in sec 2, they gotta watch out..ok fine..then after that went recess...went opposite wif cal they all...i din eat anythign sicne i already ate alot...so i blasted music and enjoyed the music till i had to go back...then maths again..now go to computer lab...wa sian...even more headache..now going faint..so asked for permission to go classroom and sleep...until really canot tahan then went back home....slept a while and went to orchard wif xiao mei mei to search for the book again, in kinokuniya- theb iggest bookshop in singapore...but guess wat? there isnt such book there!! zzz...even the biggest book store also don have..sian ...haiz..then had to go home wif disappointment...saw so many sweet food but cant buy la...zz..dam cough..on the way home was like going faint like tat..haha..scared xiao mei mei huh? then went home and tried to sleep..unfortunately, my bro could not let mi sleep la..keep "singing" ..argh...then had to wake up and here i am..oh ya..today got a funny incident...got 1 gal and 1 boy walking i nfront of us...not holding hands..i was wondering if they were bf and gf..and i was like whispering hold hand hold hand hold hand...lol..donno if they got hear mi or wat..then later on, we saw them again in mrt station, they finally held hands..lol!!! congrates...=)

haha..actually today could be quite saddening de...morning got mw then chinese at mdm chan class..she not that scary after all..made fun of her...lol..then after that went to find olivia cos its my free period and she got dismissed already..and julia- her new buddy was there too..then after that went to central area and i brought my brother there...saw 4-7 martin thomas they all..kao wif 2 gals there not conivient play wif them...lol...and saw doreen at kfc too...lol...and my little brother keep cry when i put him down la...wa...bo bian must carry him all the way..arm dam pain..but somehow after that finally olivia got to carry him and he dint cry for some time..omg..thats quite unbelievable ...hm..ya..then afetr that went home to sleep a while and went to sports carnival..dam saded ..almost got 3rd for 100m..haiz..forget it...then other events including tug of war also lost...zzz...we din perform well la..haiz...then after that got quite pissed to wait for xh for xo long and got scolded by huan sheng...then went amk wi olivia and xh..met huan sheng and he passed her her bday present..then went to amk hub...while waiting for olivia mum to pick her up, they peied mi go to hyper market..haha...bought alot vege ..but all the way they were teasing mi la..haiz..then olivia went to look for her mum and i waited for xh to queue up to buy something for her bro...that was almost 10 years long la..zz...then finally went home...and on the way saw adrian clint and su xian..then chatted a bit crap wif adrian and went home lo...saw my didi downstairs..lol..so sad xh din come up...hm...ya..somehow got to mention some thing and we agreed to jie2 bai4..woohoo...finally found my sis!! i am soooooo happy!! ya!!

ok ....well...today is a long day for mi..time seems to go v slowly...in the morning finally sort out wat i can do for now...guess cant help much...then went to sku...thanx go zi yun i got a excuse to go to sku-- helping her print some maths thing.. oh yes...she came and collect wif amelia when wei jei was lao saiing at toilet..so sad..then start the lessons...slept throughout the whole day except EFL sicne can chat wif xh... no much mood to do much things though..after sku played a while of psp and went home.. desperately wanting for music, i went to buy a new memoey card which is 2 gb and saved all my music fiels into it..at 1st my phone cant cre8 play lists and i got v impatient. lucky din spoil my phone. then i forgot i put a earpiece into my com and when i play music and cant hear the sound i got impatient again...oh yeah...cant possibly spoil the com so easily..after everything becomes fine, finelly can did 2 playlists.. 1st emo, 2nd fav.. wonder how xiao mei mei survive without music when u are sad...ya, i need it ..wanted to download some nice themes then realised almost all the nice ones are about love...ok nvm...now i shall cut the songs and make some ring tones....hope everything can be back to normal...but i wont give up....oh yeah...but i donno why can u talk as if nth has happened at all...hm...for mi i may need time to do so ba...though not v possible...just wanna say..you mean alot to mi.. ^^

i can understand you ..but i cant lie to my heart...for the 1st time, i cried for a gal...for the 1st time i cried worst than anytime ever..and can i forget you? no..everything of mine is related to you...u are part of my life...i cant believe i lost to ur courage...but wat can i do now...i donno....

ok...today..i did something i thought i would never have done...i passed to her the letter..confessed to her...i thought in this way, i would not feel regret...but the answer i get...i really cant accept it....i don wish to lie to myself...what should i do..why dint u just say u don like mi and make mi give up totally...wat should i do now? ... yes..there goes to the end of my love life....i can finally understand wat is singlehood about... its the heart that died for love.. its the pain u do not wan to go through.. and most importantly, its the love u cant let go.. so, we seek shelter from singlehood.. we thought we could get protection..but why? i don wan to be like this..i don wan to lie to myself..but wat i can do...nth...fate is playing on mi and i have now become its toy, helplessly being tortured by love.. i want to walk out of the shadows but why cant i see any light? cos love is dead...it lost all its power...and i am dead too... help mi singlehood.. lie to mi...the slightest warmth could warm my body thouroughly..but why..why are you so stingy to share just a little bit of warmth with mi...cos i noe..u too, are suffering in the dark, helplessly struggling for help.. then again wat can we all do? yes...nth we can do...cos we are already dead......

today is a long day..but quite fun la...morning 8 pm woke up and took 159 to xiao mei mei house..in the end i got down too early and searched 50 min to find my way there la..zz..then we started folding the stars...till 11 30 like that she realised she was gonna late for her dance class..then she took a bus to go there..then i went to take my 159 home..on the way to amk then found out that she decided not to go for dance..lol..then we met oppo nyp and went to my hosue there to vivist my bro and cont wif the stars...then afetr that went to amk mrt station to meet xh huan sheng and wei an..then went to boogis street..its a heaven for gals la..all the gals clothes and things so cheap lo..guys de all so ex...sianz..then bought a earring..1 side only costs $10...then after that bought a watch for $10..tat 1 quite ncie la..and a shrit for $10 again...lol...and its a micky mouse de...cool sia..a bit small though..hack...then we all went amk 1st before peiing xiao mei mei home and went back to chen sang to meet xh and huan sheng to play bball.. after that when go home then xh told mi she broke the bottle of stars...lol...and she was dam guilty sia..when i was like don feel any anger at all? lol..dam funny..then i do add oil on fire keep say how hard we made them..haha..okok...then act wanted to visit my bro so sad he not at home..disappointed her sia..wahaha..now at home...sianing...yawn...oh ya..yesterday broke my phone memory card..zz..aot thigns gone la..now cant listen to music...wtf....sian

today is quite a boring sat la...haiz..cls of 1 bloody lame literature lecture, i cant go anywhere..have to wait at home since woke up till 2...then go to orchard mrt station and met sista diyanah and also sharifa...then were finding our way there under the tormenting sun..lucky i wore pink instead of black..if not i wwould be complaining mroe than sharifa..the autitorium was quite a nice place la..and i found the talk not so bad..though many of my frens complained about the boringness..and ben even was thinking whether he should come for the next one..oh sad...then after that went back to amk to pass xiao mei mei the paper used to fold """" ..then and realsied i forgot to bring them. and she could only find red straws..lucky called my fren to ask where to buy colourful straws and pased to her..but she was complaining that they would not look nice la...kao...now back at home..enjoying my peace..in boredom...yawn...can any1 save mi out of this boredom...hmmm...doubt so


A gentle word like a spark of light,
Illuminates my soul
And as each sound goes deeper,
It's YOU that makes me whole
There is no corner, no dark place,
my love cannot fill
And if my world starts causing waves,
It's you that makes them still.
and as i looked into your charming smiles,
my soul is filled with warmth.
as i speak to you with my trembled breath,
my body is out of control.
my heart is pumping out whole,
my eyes are not leaving you still.
and all i want to say to you right now,
is so much so that i love you so.
sadly you are not mine for now,
but i will prove to you so.
to prove you that my love is as deep as the sea,
yet as dumb as you.
yes i do love you so....

sian sian sian....today is really sian...went to sku then str8 find chicky to get ear stuck to replace mine to prevent getting booked...then after tat 1st session still ok. go to dance studio use long balloons to make animals and flowers..quite fun..then after that go learn about graphical calculator...walao very the lame la..go there use the calculator play game..lol ...then after that did something like maths quiz..ahh..dam hard la...onl zhi an solved out the whole thing...lol...then went for recess...walao...i hao xin let joanne eat my cheese cake then i was expecting her to use can to take a bit to eat..then she go bite from the whole thing!!! walao..sian diao...then gave all the leftover to tracie...=.= ignored dawn ( some1 hates her) then walked away...lol...oh ya..then after tat went back to take the flowers and put at xiao mei mei de chair..had a hard time finding her sit la! tat ms teo still give mi wrong position...lol..cos she saw i go in...so i say needa pass soemthing to xiao mei mei and asked her for the sitting position..clever hoh...anwyay....after recess was movie screenign about pirates of the carebean...lol..that 1 still ok la..anted to sleep in the hall while watching movie de but in the end the show too attractive...^^ had a hard time finding xiao mei mei la....keep say can see mi but cant even see her at all...then after movie went down wif 5-1 ppl play bball...lol...and there xh came...so we made a team consisting of mi, xh, wei an and clint...not bad not bad...can keep winning...but after that was a torture...we cabbed down to stadium afraid tat we were late..yet we had to wait so long before it start la...esp upper sec heats...haiz...some ppl got leadership talk must wait for them sia...went home at 5 plus..then during the 200m run, i was like quite fast at the 1st 100m la, then after that donno why all my muscles start to ache and i lost speed...dot dot dot...hope in the finals it wont happen....dot dot dot...then after that i was like going to faint...and felt like vomiting..xh guard mi till i reach my lift haha...then went home str8 lie down on my bed and slept till now...finally feel much better le....


what is love, why is there love?
it is to fill people' s heart with warmth,
it is to light up a person' s day.
but why am i engulfed in darkenss,
so dark that i can hardly see my fingers.
cos i am missing you now,
my loved one.
i have indeed fallen for you.
this time so deep that you have chanegd my life.
you affects my mood so greatly,
yet i miss you so.
all i want is to let you feel my love,
with a heart so pure as yours,
cos i love you so,
yes i love you.
i am missing you so...

ok come to today...xiao mei mei lost her handphone at wild wild wet!! haiz...today we went there cos she can get free tickets from her mum...then we were like quite happy enjoying there la...then half way her cousin came wif a fren ...both quite ah lian tat type...little did we noe that she would lose her phone ater tat when we were going home when we went to subway.!!!!!! haiz...so sianz lo..like tat also can lose it....see my sian face on bus here ..haiz

ok now come to today..ah..today is killing sia...E maths paper 2 plus chemistry..wa piangs...din really intend to pass maths but was thinking tat i should be able to pass chem de ma..but fond out tat the chem paper is really hard la...the essay questions is like din really do much la..haiz..then slept for 1 hour..lol...after tat, cal they all say they wan to go amk hub to eat dee...then they walk dam slowly la..yawn..then when going reach mrt then say odn wan go liao..but same la shun lu to my house..so called my ah ma to ask if got lunch to eat...and she agreed to buy mi roasted duck..woohooo..nice sia...roast duck wrap...haha...then night time even better, pizza from pizza hut...sweet...but spent mi 15 min just to order it...dam lot ppl calling ba..anyway i got it...ha..just now had a tlak wif xiao mei mei about relationship again somehow...din really wan to tlak about this topic anymroe...but, somehow i managed to found out her pass in blog and saw another blog url in her account, a blog about her and her ex...their experience was really sweet...wondering why i am so suay, always fall for ppl tat are impossible for mi...i could sense tat their break up was not a happy one, and indeed a v terrible one..but at least she got a beautiful memory..wat have i got? a terrible memory being deceived? ...am i really positive about love? i don even confess to whom i like, can we really still be frens if i tell her...is it possible...hmm...but i noe, if i dont say, i will sure live in regrets...should i really give it a try.....i dont know i dont know i dont know...wat if after i say i made her lose a fren...is that fair to her? if i dont say am i fair to both her and myself? ahhhh.....lol.....when did i become so complicated........just realsied this thigns should be written in my diary instead of blog..lol...nvm....since i already wrote so much..its fate...ya..fate....tml A maths test...not bothered about it la...yanw..go play psp...END

yawn...2 days haven blog again haha..yesterday almost whole day outside..di nhave time to blog sia..lol..ok...yesterday v fun...went to mediacorp!!!. wif xiao mei mei....haha...donno how my mum got the 2 tickets for the show "music in the air" woo...saw geng bai and jeff..and tat funny li3 teng2...and heard the song "liang3 zhi1 lian4 ren2" sang by j3...omg..tat song is so nice...tat j3 coorperate so well tat it sounds as nice as the 1 cao ge sang...haha..but throughout the show xiao mei mei was hitting my head la...dumb la..then later on we almost got lost ..lol..donno who say she come many times before sia...ok.. then took bus to her house there and took 159 home from there..haha..wat a memorable day sia..saw 3 superstars in 1 day and 3 superhost and j3..lol...and campus superstar 2 de some contestants... oh ya..on the way home, xiao mei mei was totally shocked by a little lieaf i threw at her!! omg...rofl...that was so funny la..wonder wats so scary about insects...=.= little gals are like tat....and i wonder how do ppl get their tongue cut by sour things?hmmm...... lol....then after reach home of cos nth to write about la..haha...the end for yesterday

yawn...last night no time to post...lol..now post for yesterday..hm..it was exam tay..early in the morning went to sku by bus..then din get to rest much must go for assembly and chinese exam...lol...think my compo written quite well la, at least got 3 pages..then is super concentrated..meaning almost all the idoms take 50% of the words written..lol...but ying1 yong4 wen2 nv do well...wrote v little..haiz...nvm...then ss, din even wan to count it in my l1 r5 de..but still wrote 5 pages although din study at all..cool huh...but less time to sleep...tot chi i could sleep 30min ss should be able to sleep 1 hr de..sad sia...
then after sku st8 away go j8 wif xiao hui liao...when i wait for her at gate when i tot she should reach 1st, then i messaged her "10 years" meaning its bloody long...lol...then when she came she was like laughing like mad, keep talking about the 10 years thing la...diao!! then on the way saw joey chua sia...lol...some1 who ahem her before huh..lol... then she was like almost walking on the road la..lol...tot that although when car hit her the car will fly, she still don have to walk there ma...
ok now come to the movie part..lol..spiderman!!! omg.. its a really nice show...but somehow in during the show she and wei leong both messaging some1 la..aiyo...and xiao hui is messaging xiao mei mei..omg..thats scary..are gonna tag? woops....the movie is a mixture of emo and funny la..lol!! alot times dam funny sia...then got 1 part, when venom asked the sandman if he wanna join him and said alot donno wat thing, then asked " isnt that interesting?" we were thinking, if the sandman said no..it would be dam funny la..lol..omg.."isnt tat interesting?" "no =.="....ok after tat went to huan sheng house a while ...then when he open door, he was wearing hairband =.= walao...si bei gay leh....yawn...talk a bit then went to play bball...lol...we play winner in loser out...so we get to keep playing..until we all tired and bored then said sayounala....1 thing i have to admit and that is his bball skill....lol...but he donno how to coorporate...pass bball sometimes v slow, sometimes pass very hard...v diff to catch his ball..yawn...hope can surpass him in bball someday...everyday get laughed by him so sian....zzz...then now we v long nv go to ah siao de bball train liao....but heard tat wei kang they all also nv go..hm..think wont get scolded by coach ba....don feel like taking part in any competetion anymore..so waste time...now study is the most important part...though i cant really study much without the mood for it..haiz...some1 help mi..how do i get the mood!!!
ok now i go think of how... END

A long time havent been post huh? hm..about 4 days..previously wrote in diary so din post..ops...ok..these few days din post also cos no much things happened...normal routine..hm..received a choc from xiao mei mei..haha..thnx ah..i din have breakfast on tat day..lol..saved my stomach..hm..then wat, oh..yesterday quie alot thing happen..lol..morning time almost could not wake up sia..alarm lcock auto cancelled..for no reason..lucky got morning call..wa..heng..then go sku wif my "xi30h0ng" class T..lol..mornign time drizzle a bit and mass workout was cancelled!..then right after we reached classroom the sky turned v clear lo..sad...lol..wanted to clear my dept of dares today by doing mass workout on counsiler table..wahah..so sad...also forgot to bring insects for xiao mei mei sia..aiya..wanted to see her cry out of shock....zzz....nvm..i don believe monday i cant do it..lol....then after sku went chen sang play bball wif darren..saw a yu-gi-oh fren and play wif them...lol..they got totally bullied sia..shake head...boring game..then his fren gtg then only 3 boys left..yawn..then we called the AND bball gals at that area join us..then we play 4v4...ok...still quite boring...then at3, i realsied i was late for napha 5 items..ops...rushed back and did all...
shutle run- 9.6 sec
pull up- did till 11 and stop lol.don save strength for next items
sit up- 43 only..sad sad...
standing board jump- 250 zzz lousiser than last year
SIT AND REACH !!! --- 37.5cm!!! ahh.. not even C....din get gold all thnx to this F****** item....zzzzzz sian la...haiz..
then after tat went to play soccer wif cal wei jei they all..play half way the soccer ball fly to a big tree and stuck...lol...then we saw 5-1 darren and wei an at bball court..so went to play wif them....ok la, quite fun..after tat when all gone played 1v1 wif calvin...lol...as a person who don play bball much, calvin is really quite good.....ok...wat did i do after tat? go home and play maple...lol...until now i havent study after sku sia...gotta find ppl study liao...cant have mood studying alone somehow...haiz....still got lit project writting about Dogberry...yawn....wish mi good luck ba..

lols...last night found a useful guitar website by the help of xiao mei mei...hmm...then practiced till midnight like tat....lol..going to have blisters...then today quite lame day...play dota then go bball wif zhen hong and huan sheng...the oponent v pro, so it was fun...lol...and now ,i am home, using msn again...going practice guitar soon ba..haha...its soooo fun....woooo